Take revenge on an evil celestial body in “hyper-TTRPG” Ten Million HP Planet

Any time the planet breaks bad and kills nearly everyone you knew and loved, there’s only one course of action: gathering your super-powered buddies and teaching it a final lesson in violence. New tabletop RPG Ten Million HP Planet delivers this admittedly specific premise.

Created and published by Nem of Sandy Pug Games, Ten Million HP Planet puts players in the revenge-soaked shoes of a handful of people who survived the planet’s sudden catastrophic betrayal. Natural disasters on the scale of Hollywood blockbusters reduced humanity to virtually nothing, leaving the group with a single unifying goal: punch Earth so dang hard.

“You’re wizards who have unlocked the secrets of the universe, martial artists who can control every atom in their body, and genius inventors who’ve broken the limits of science. And you’re gonna kick the planet’s arse for killing everyone you’ve ever met,” the Itch.io page reads.

Nem describes the game as a “hyper-ttrpg”, though a tweet in their announcement thread only clarifies that definition as a pornography-esque, ‘I know it when I see it’ situation. Players control individuals who had the will, smarts or straight up superpowers to withstand the initial decimation and take turns describing the ridiculous and devastating ways they make the planet regret its actions. Sessions are conversational in nature, allowing groups to stretch their imagination and description without needing to worry about turns or action economies - just punch the dang planet as hard and as cool as possible.

Due to the scale of ultraviolence on display in Ten Million HP Planet, players should be prepared to roll “thousands and thousands of dice” but also to roleplay some heavy drama in flashback scenes that explain what each individual player lost when the world went sicko mode. Character advancement involves taking a righteous beating from Earth, falling down and remembering something traumatic and vital so they can stand up stronger and more powerful than ever.

Those interested in a John Wick-meets-shounen anime kind of experience should find an automatic dice roller and friends willing to play what Nem admits is an intentionally broken game. Time doesn’t matter, the numbers get absurdly large, and the only thing players should be interested in doing is illustrating obscene planet violence with their words.

Sandy Pug Games recently helped publish the Our Shores RPG Kickstarter campaign that bundled three new RPGs from Southeast Asian designer, along with a zine companion featuring even more independent creators. They also have a portfolio full of games and supplements, such as the radical magical manifesto Wizardpunks and the fairly self explanatory title You Are Quarantined With Adam Driver And He Is Insisting On Reading You His New Script.

Ten Million HP Planet can be downloaded from Sandy Pug Game’s Itch.io page for $10 (£7), and a physical tri-fold copy is currently in the works.